Empty home

Everyone seems to be leaving!

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This evening, Aji left for the US for a month and a half. It's been a rainy day, and a rainy evening too. I'm glad I wasn't alone, saying bye to her.
Shamoo will leave soon. Strangely, this makes me feel more and more like sticking close to Pune, and wearing it around my shoulders like a cloak, wrapped tight and safe.
And while I'm in that cloak, I'll hope and wish that all those people who're leaving have a great deal of stories to tell me when they're back!

to you, and you.

This was me 2 days ago.

Think I look a little different now,

but you haven't seen me in more than that, 

so no one can tell, really.

I hope I see you soon. 

Large

I visited my old home+campus from growing up years. And it was very awkward. Do things/places in memories seem much larger than they actually are or is it because I was physically tinier then?

This is a strange 'i-dont-know-what' that haunted me when I was a kid. I thought it was where IIT did all its secret experiments/launched space missions from.

visiting a place that's inside of you on the outside

it starts here, with this image. cypress roots and succulents was made by edward weston in 1930 in a place called point lobos, california. it took my breath away when i saw it in foundation and it was what led to the best day of my summer. to explain how one thing lead to another, i made a map.



one-thing-leads-to-another map (reduced to a linear variation):
cypress roots and succulents-->point lobos--|latent opportunities|-->free sunday-->do you want to visit carmel-by-the-sea? i love that place-->wikipedia-->carmel-->edward weston-->google maps-->get directions-->carmel,ca to point lobos state reserve,ca-->4.4 miles?-->print map--|driving, chitchat and other activities|-->toll gate, $10 per car, cash only--> you sure you don't accept credit cards?-->park outside-->walk through side gate-->take a lonely path-->point lobos (proper).



women. point lobos is my idea of beautiful. i wish i wish i wish you could have been there with me. tide pools californian sun wildflowers safety childhood
the pure pacfic silent folds in cliffs rock piles left by my lovers. there were no humans there, we ceased to exist. the place had been inside me, and when i found it outside.. [i don't know what to write here. imagine the last morsel of dhal-rice that your grandmother feeds you, wiped clean off the plate, the taste of her skin. imagine the breath you take in when you hug someone you love. imagine the best thing you can. then imagine me.]

in one of the tide pools, i found a lock. a number lock with four digits. it was the most poetic thing - a lock for me, to open, to keep. i try a different combination everyday, i make a different meaning of it everyday. 4 digits, 10,000 combinations - i could be trying for more than 27 years!

sunday at point lobos was possibly the best day in america for me. it is what i dream of, everyday. my family and i will forever be there in my memory. i leave that piece of me there for the next person who walks in.